Monday, February 15, 2016

Sh*t Happens to Everyone

It's been a while since I touched this blog. I created it for some of my more creative projects, like writing fiction, making board games, etc.  Now, it will be re-purposed once again to vent and keep people informed of my latest challenge - battling pancreatic cancer.

The other day I was talking to a friend who had some things going on in his life that were - let's say - sub-optimal.  The fact is that everyone's got something that they're dealing with.  It could be a love-life issues, a work problem, they might have the cold or flu.  The fact is, that everyone's got something - AND - there's always someone that's worse off than you are.  In this case, I'm the man at the top of the pyramid - at least compared to most people.

Let me just say this: I am not happy to be here. Honestly, who wants to have the worst problem of all the people they know? But, I know people who have it worse, and a lot of folks who have it better. But, everyone's got something.  I don't mind hearing about it or talking about it. I'm not wallowing in self-pity so bad that I can't hear about your problems (well, I'm not full-time wallowing, anyway).

How am I doing? I'm glad you asked.  My last two chemo treatments were much kinder to my body. Getting a reduction to a 75% dose has made my life much more livable.  I'm able to work more, see people, venture out of the house, etc.  But, I'm still not at 100%. I get these subtle reminders from my body in some form or another that says: "Hey, dude. Remember, you still have cancer".  It's kind of disheartening, but the fact is: it ain't going anywhere, at least not yet.

I'm still working on it. I have more chemo to go. I should get another MRI at the end of February to see what's happening with the tumor.  As for the emotions, they're all over the map. I'm so grateful to my family and my friends for their support and a shoulder to cry on.

I know that I'm close to the top of the pyramid of shit (or is it an inverted pyramid that's piled on top of me?) but, there's always someone worse off. I don't take comfort in either one.